Room with a View

(To the tune of Nature Boy)
There is room.
A very plain and lonely room.
And in it sits a lonely chair, a lonely girl, a lonely attitude.
(Continue music...)

Natural ability and talent had opened windows of opportunity on all four sides.
And still she sits...enjoying the views--mountain streams, rain on the meadows, beaches, snow covered roofs with smoke from the chimney...and sits and sits.

She had a lot to say--both serious and funny--about a lot of things--both serious and funny--until the blog door opened and she fell silent.

She took a lots of pictures--both serious and funny--until the door of facebook posting opened and she set her camera down.

She sang song after song--some serious but mostly funny--until the door of open mic opened and another part of her fell silent.

It's not as if the chair she sits in is comfortable...it's familiar but not comfortable. And the room is not all that pleasant either...not ugly but not pretty...just plain.

And still the girl sits...and sits...and sits. Watching the world move around her from all the open doors and windows of opportunity. If she moves her head just so, she even catches glimpses of her ship that came in. And still she sits...

Is it her imagination...is the room getting smaller...or is she getting bigger? Are the walls closing in...or are the windows and doors opening wider? Is the chair getting smaller...or, again, is she getting bigger?

There is a shift...a restlessness...a curiosity...what lies beyond the door post, the window pane, further than her eye can see? Are those moving figures people? Are they beckoning her outside? Is there a place for her in the game...called life? Are there things only she can do...but only if leaves the comfortable plainness of her existence and moves forward? Should she leave? The room is familiar and...safe? But how unsafe is the world she sees from her familiar chair?

What song does she hear? What song are the beckoning people singing to her? What song would you sing to the girl to give her courage to stand up and walk out...to join the game...called life...?

(Reply Requested)

Notes from the 'fast' lane

I just finished a four day 'fruit fast'. I learned a lot...

'They' say that 'we' should eat slowly and saver our bites. However correct 'they' are very few of 'us' do it. You want to know how you can easily incorporate this into your life? Eat only fruit for four days. How wonderful a NOT sweet taste and a NOT soft food can be. OK, so the scrambled egg this morning was soft but the toast was deliciously crunchy.

'They' also say that eliminating sugar from our diet or at least limiting it is a good thing. But there is sugar everywhere. It's hard to miss it. And as an American, I like sugar...or should I say liked. After four days of eating only sweet fruit, I may be off sugar for a very long time. Eric's leftover oatmeal did not have the same appeal this AM as in the days past. I did eat the few walnuts out of it but the raisins did not entice me.

Speaking of leftovers...'they' tell young moms to be careful eating our children's leftovers. I found out how hard it was for me to 'waste' food by throwing it away. But unless it was fruit...throw it away I did.

As much as I enjoy fruit, in season and out, the sweet got to me very quickly. It was a great way to initiate portion control which is another thing 'they' tell us is important to healthy eating. When you don't particularly care for what's offered...it's surprising how little you have to eat to satisfy your hunger.

I also came face to face with my rebellious nature. When I told friends what I was doing, whatever comment they made--I took the opposite side. " I am so proud of you"--this is so hard and I hate it. "I'm not so sure about losing whole food groups"--It's only for four days, it's not so bad. So now, not only am I eating more consciously but talking more so, too. Keeping track of my attitude...it sucks...a lot.

So today, I eat regular healthy meals. Tomorrow, too. Then it's back to the fruit for four more days. I don't know how long I will keep this up. Til I lose the pounds I want to lose or until I can walk by a bag of snack food and not unconsciously grab a handful of whatever it is and eat it without thinking.

This whole thinking thing is not as hard as it seemed it was going to be six months ago. It's not easy but it's more other than hard. Conscious thought--is the key and the goal.

And let's not forget one other thing that has become even more clear to me...My husband loves me. Offers to make special trips to the grocery store to buy me a variety of fruit so I'm not bored. Supports me in this craziness. Fixes meals for himself and Ashley and eats them out of sight so as not to tempt me. Even skips going out to eat. Just for me. It seems so normal to say out loud. But with EVEYTHING so keenly in focus...It feels different, more intense. I can eat fruit for days and days with that kind of support.

Throne Room

I've heard that there are many techniques for gaining control or keeping control of situations. Making people wait. Having a bigger chair. Color sometimes does it.

If I were in a position of authority or needed to always look my best, I would light the room just right and paint it just right so that even on a bad day...I'd look good.

Like our upstairs bathroom. The frosted light fixture. The pale peach walls. I look good. My throne room, if you will. I don't look tired...even when I am. I don't even need mascara.

I wonder if I could find shirts in that color. The light in the NW is diffused a good many days of the year anyway. I'm liking this plan.

The very thought of it...

Knowing is not doing.

Let's face it.
For most of us to lose weight takes two things...eat less and move more.
To get out of debt...spend less.
To declutter our lives...keep, sell or toss. With the emphasis on sell and toss.

If knowing were doing we wouldn't buy books, attend seminars or join groups.
Since it isn't we keep looking for a quick fix. A pill, a system or a miracle.

There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. Thyroids do malfunction, financial emergencies happen and we are happy to have that credit card, somebody moves and we are left with family heirlooms of questionable sentimental or monetary value. But for most of us, its easier than that. Eat less, spend less, keep less.

And while I'm on a roll, can I just ask whatever happened to the whole...
"An once of prevention is worth a pound of cure"?
If we ate healthy and stayed active...would weight become an issue?
If we lived with-in our means...would there be debt to get out from under?
If we lived with-in our space...would clutter be an issue.

I'm sorry to take out my frustration on y'all. I eat too much, spend too much and keep too much.

Maybe y'all can be my accountability group. Maybe never knowing when I'm going to be called on that cookie, or that trinket will make me more aware of myself.

Thanks for helping me along the path...

Counting Outlets

We've all heard about the sleep aid--counting sheep. I've had trouble with this because my eyes follow the sheep over the fence and back to find the next sheep. I feel like an old-fashioned type-writer. Over, ding and back. Over, ding and back. Over, ding and back.

I have found something that works better. Counting outlets. Not outlet malls but actual electrical outlets in my home.

As much as the people who designed your dwelling knew about their business and as much as they tried to think of everything, you-having lived with your stuff in your space and knowing how many extension cords you have running behind and under things-know better.

So, here you go, the next time you have trouble falling asleep, think about this one detail of a total remodel. Where would you like the outlets, phone jacks and TV cables? This list works wonders for me. The first couple of nights you might make it through your whole house but by the end of the week, you'll be lucky to get through your bedroom and master bath.

Plus this way you are planning for the future. You might have a chance to remodel, right? You could win lottery or something. People do, right? I've seen it on TV anyway.

Sweet dreams.

mantra

I have a new weight loss mantra...
I'm more thirsty than I am hungry.

How does that sound? I'm not negating the fact that I might be truly hungry but drinking 2 or 3 ounces of water before I put something solid in my mouth might be just the ticket.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Questioning Communication

When you ask your overnight guest "Do you need another blanket?" What are you really asking?

When Eric or I are sick, one of us sleeps on the sofa. When the caregiver asks the sicko "Do you need another blanket?" what we are really asking is, "Are you cold?" and "Do you remember where we keep the extra blankets?"

That's what you mean when you ask your overnight guest that question. And the guest understands the question. They know how warm they like to sleep. They then judge the heat in the room and the thickness of the covers and determine "Yes, I will be cold" or "No, I'll be fine".

But what if you ask a three year old "Do you need another blanket?" Will they understand the subtext? Ashley owns lots of blankets, am I planning a shopping trip? Does she need another one? Like maybe a purple one? That question does not mean to her what it means to me.

I wonder how many times we are misunderstood because we are in essence speaking two different languages? Some things are more simple--"Would you like more juice?" could mean "Are you thirsty?" or "Would you prefer water or something else from the 'fridge as I am getting up anyway?" Some things are much harder--"How are you?" Are you asking about my health, my family, my day or my job? How much time do you have? Do you really care or is this just a standard greeting?

All of this hit me last night between 2 and 2:30am. Ashley is stuffed up. We stayed at some friends' house later than her bedtime so she is also very tired. It seemed cold in her room to me so I changed my tactics...

"Are you cold?" "Yes." So, I got her another blanket.

Decorations

Well, the last of Christmas is safely stored in it's boxes. And those boxes are safely stored until next year.

As much as I enjoy Christmas and all it's trimmings. I'm just as happy to get it packed away. This holiday starts in July when Hallmark has it's Open House. It builds and builds with more and more stores adding their perspective. It runs through the after-Christmas sales, advent and sometimes til Epiphany.

We took the wreath off our door and packed away the jiggle-holder this week. There was a bag that we had missed but that was easily distributed among the boxes.

Sigh of relief...

Now just a little rest until spring planting.

Fog

These last few days I have felt like a character in a fairytale. The Pacific North West has been shrouded in fog. Day and night...for days. Everyday life has become an adventure.

Have you seen the movie Brigadoon? Where a whole village disappears in the fog? All the dancing and the singing and the love at first sight...sigh...

What if between this traffic light and the next the world disappears? Or time disappears? Not scary disappears but romantic disappears.

What if our 4runner becomes a carriage with horses? What if my Half Price Books t-shirt becomes a gown? What if my lunch of leftovers becomes a picnic packed by an organic Zone certified chef?

I know the air can get stagnant, I know we have to drive slower and safer but still...fog...you think you know what the street looks like but just imagine it ends not at the grocery store but on the hills of Loch Lohman...or the streets of Paris...or...

I love the fog...